So...some things have changed.

Over the past 6 months, my life has gotten to be so different. My son was diagnosed with autism. And although it came as no surprise (we knew something was up since he regressed at 18 months old), it still has changed our lives considerably. 

Much time is spent in therapy, searching for therapies and researching resources and all things autism. He goes to preschool for two hours five days a week. So I try and continually try to find other ways to increase his ability to function in our neurotypical world.

Today presents me a terrific opportunity to find and apply most current parenting techniques. I will be heading to the next state over to the University of Louisville Autism Training Center. 

They want me to bring my little guy for an evaluation to verify that he has autism so that I can take part in a study in January where they will teach me parenting techniques for raising a child with autism. 

Now, I'm not new to parenting. In a post from yesterday, I showed a picture of my three kids. Yeah, this is not my first rodeo. Nevertheless, I have very little experience with autism, and zero experience with ASD in my family until this, my Love. It is this. In the past, so many times I had been complimented on my children, my A and C, people say "You are a great parent! You have done such a good job raising them. They are so well-mannered, well-behaved, etc. etc." My response was always close to the same, "It's not me. It's God. God won't give you more than you can handle. He knows I can't handle that much so He gave me great kids." Well, I guess God thinks I can handle more than I thought. 

It's hard, oh so hard to have a child that by all appearances doesn't care if you're there. And often times would prefer you not to be there. He doesn't willingly seeks hugs or cuddles from me. There is never a time when he will sit on my lap and allow me to read a book to him. He wants what he wants which does not include me. And if he doesn't get what he wants he screams like he is in extreme pain. He has cried many tears over God knows what because he's nonverbal and doesn't have the ability to tell me what he wants, needs, or feels. I send him to school and he cannot tell me how his day was. Yeah, it's hard. But still it's worth it.